Your 5 Most Important Desires

You might have heard the popular saying by Jim Rohn: "We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with".

What does it mean? It means who we surround ourselves with influences our thinking, our actions, and our mindset and thus eventually, who we are.

Rohn’s view: We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.

But I want to offer you a counter-perspective. We are not simply the average of the people around us. No, in line with mimetic theory, we start desiring what the 5 people closest to us desire. And this affects who we are.

Girard’s view: We desire what the 5 people desire we spend the most time with.

We desire what the 5 people closest to us desire and this affects. who we are.

As a student I started working in a consultancy. It was impressive. Expensive hotels & rental cars. Important client meetings. Amounts of money I had not seen before. But it was also kind of empty.

Had I not made the jump then, I might find it still desirable to work 14 hours, sleep in Hilton hotels and collect membership miles on an American Express. It was what everyone around me found (thinly) desirable.

Who you surround yourself with matters.

But even more so you should watch out what these other 5 people desire and make sure these desires are aligned with what you want in life.

So, what do you want? And does your “Club of 5” want the same?